How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Watch Adult Movies During Sex

If you just started a new relationship or have been married for twenty years, when it comes to talking with your lover about the desire to watch adult movies during sex, is never easy. However, in reality you’ll never know how they will answer unless you ask. Instead of hiding it like it’s a dirty little secret, the open communication can improve your sex life and improve other aspects of your relationship.

It’s normal to be worried about your lover’s reaction, use a third-party indirect question such as: “Bill told me over coffee that Linda and him watch channel X while making love. Have you ever imagined watching adult movies during sex? Apparently they really like it.”

The preframe for this conversation is that watching adult movies is a healthy medium. Bill and Linda improved their sex life through stimulating images and auditory enhancers of groans and dirty talk. By asking her if she likes it before you even suggest you’re into it, will loosen up the pressure on you and give you an answer without facing judgement.

If your lover says, “sure let’s check some out,” keep in mind while the movie is rolling to stare at her often. Tell her she is sexier than all the women. Repeat some of the dirty lines aloud as if she were one of porn stars. Guide your lover into the positions. Always stay in the moment instead of becoming fixated on the screen. Afterwards, ask her what else she wants to try. Watching adult movies with your lover is an excellent gateway to more kinky arts.

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Sex Instructional Videos – Watch and Learn!

Although it’s evident that people nowadays are educated in the matter of sex, there are still those who need a little bit of help in that department. Whether you’re just starting out to become sexually active, or you’re in a relationship with a dwindling sex life, sex instructional videos may just be the thing you need. Sex can become quite a sensual and pleasurable activity, as long as you know exactly what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Let sex instructional videos teach you a thing or two, and who knows? You might just discover as whole new side to you.

Sex instructional videos are great as it can help you spice up your bedroom routine with your lover. With different tips and techniques that you can learn from these videos, you’ll be able to become a better sexual partner. These videos can also help you let go of your inhibitions and your partner’s as well and teach you to be more confident in your own skin, no matter what body type you have. And because it’s highly recommended that you watch sex instructional videos with your lover, it can also possibly help strengthen the relationship.

You may be thinking, what makes sex instructional vids any different from porn videos? Though both videos will show people having sexual intercourse, you’ll actually learn something from instructional videos as it usually includes a narrative or a step by step guide. Whereas sex instructional videos aim to give you a better understanding of your body and how you can work it during sex, porn on the other hand will just show people having sex. If you think that sex is just like what you’ve seen on porn movies, you’ll be surprised to know that there is more to it than just the act itself. There’s foreplay, there’s romance and there are techniques that can help you make the whole act a mind blowing experience.

If you’re interested to know how you can your hands on sex instructional videos, you have a few choices. Depending on where you live and how your culture perceives sex, you might find it really easy or a bit challenging to acquire these videos. If you have an adult bookstore or a sex shop in your community, you can start your search there. You can also check stores that sell movies and DVDs and look for the adult section.

You can also look for online sites that sell sex instructional vids if you want to shop in the comforts of your own home. Although you’ll find a wide selection of different titles and types online, do take your time in choosing a video for you. Make sure that you check the production company and the description thoroughly if you don’t want to end up with cheap porn that was packaged as an instructional video. Look up reviews on which titles would be best suited for you. Don’t forget to ask your lover’s opinion on which titles to get so that you can come to a mutual agreement on what type of instructional video would best benefit you both.

Escalating Porn Addiction and Criminal Thoughts

Pre-Internet, young addicts would steal porn magazines from the top shelves of newsagents. Post-Internet – according to my 2 years of research into porn addiction – this is tame compared to what goes through their heads to do to act out their escalating pornography addictions. Many are becoming deeply scared of their own minds and addictions. One man wrote “I have deep dark desires that I wish to fulfil which are even stronger than my porn addiction.” Another man wrote “I am severely depressed. I am now having horrible thoughts of hurting myself and my girlfriend and doing horrible violent things in general. I am 24.”

Depending upon what they have been exposed to in their journey through the bowels of Internet pornography determines what they soon begin feeling compelled to do next when they have become desensitized with purely legal acting out behaviors. Many addicts at this stage fear their next bender could tip them over the edge into doing illegal things as they begin to find it harder and harder to disassociate from the porn world.

It starts with relatively “mild” fears such as a 19 year old who wrote “I’m frightened I’ll become a pervert when I grow up. I’ve been doing porn since I was 14″ to older addicts writing things such as “I now want to see women urinating on toilets after seeing a lot of urine porn and am scared I will act out by setting up a camera in a women’s toilet”. Another (white) man wrote “It’s gotten to the point where I now fantasise that I am a white woman being raped by multiple black men as well as being one of the rapists too.”

One female porn addict wrote “It’s escalating now to an obsession with putting myself in dangerous situations so I can be raped”. Another addict who had a history of physical and sexual abuse and being degraded as a child had the desire to be “killed at the hands of a lover”.

Another 18 year old man wrote “Only drowning and suffocating porn can satisfy me now. I fear I will become a serial killer and I doubt my morality.” Equally as disturbing were the words of a young student who wrote “I’ve got to the point now where bondage videos are not violent enough to satisfy me. I sit in class and think of strangling the woman in front of me.” This man was understandably banned off the forum he wrote this on but my question is “what happened to him?”… Did he ever act out his thoughts?

Another tormented porn addict wrote “Until I saw bestiality porn, I had never wanted to be sexual with an animal. I loved animals and was brought up with them. Now I am acting out with my own dogs and want to put them up for adoption so I can stop this sexual abuse. I want to be able to view my dogs as pets – nothing more. They deserve so much better than this. I’m at breaking point.”

Other escalating pornography addicts become obsessed with being in risky situations like exposing themselves and/ or masturbating in public places. Some addicts will masturbate in back rows of theatres or picture houses or in their car when they stop at the lights. It gives them the arousal they need to be able to reach a new peak that ordinary virtual porn can no longer give them as well as giving them adrenaline hits their addiction needs. One man was being driven by his addiction to expose himself to 10-15 year olds. He wrote “I already do this with women although I pretend I don’t know they can see me. I cannot believe how damaged I am. It happens a lot when I am under pressure or stressed. If I don’t “do the deed” I get very agitated, angry and frustrated. When I do it I get relief but then shame and anger set in and I just want to lock myself away.”

Another addict wrote “I’m so worried about going to jail over all my sexual urges and ideas of the things I want to do. I’m still in school and sometimes masturbate on the bus when the urge comes on me and I can’t control it. I’m scared it will get me into some kind of legal trouble. I then watch porn all night long.”

Other addicts – after watching incest porn – have tormenting urges around family members. One 29 year old addict wrote after watching “mother and son” porn… “In my dreams now, my mother is breast feeding me. I’ve become fascinated with her breasts and am scared I’m going to act out on it and touch or grab her breasts. I also want to take photos and videos of her breasts.” Another addict wrote “I watch mother and son porn, daughter and father porn and sister and brother porn. I escalated to this and am now having intrusive incestual thoughts about my mother and other family members. I am scared I am going to act out on them. I tell myself this is the last time I am going to watch porn due to where it is taking me but I always fall back into it again – the porn. I am scared. When I was younger I was exposed to porn and re-enacted what I saw with another boy and why I am scared now.”

Another terrified addict wrote “Since being exposed to brother/ sister rape porn I have had thoughts about raping my sister. I am heading down a very dangerous and horrible road. I don’t want to be a rapist or a murderer and I certainly don’t want to do this with my sister. Now I feel incredibly awkward around her and have no emotional attachment to her anymore. I fear in the future though that porn will not be enough for me and I may actually rape someone. I really don’t want to be a monster yet I fear that may happen in the future. I’m now, as a result, having frequent suicidal thoughts.”

More disturbing is when severely escalating addicts begin to find that “adult” porn – however depraved – is no longer a big enough of an arousal to satisfy their addiction’s needs so move closer and closer to illegal pornography. One addict wrote “I constantly feel paranoid as some sites have questionable videos of what look like underage girls”. Another wrote “I take myself to the edge of legal porn and then am enticed to 100% illegal material via links that come without warning. The crossover is done in a second. There is, bottom line, no safe way to look at porn. I have to completely disengage. It’s evil shit and makes me feel suicidal… I am a compromised human who has abandoned morality. We click in our own chains while weighing down our souls by feeding off the poisonous digital imagery of unspeakable misery of the most vulnerable in our world”.

One addict on the edge of legal and illegal porn wrote this “I’m paranoid I’ll open the wrong page and get arrested as I’m paranoid I’m being watched by Big Brother. I’m paranoid I’m turning into a dirty old man. It’s no fun anymore.”

Another wrote “I don’t feel safe with myself anymore.” Their fears are because once the crossover has taken place to child pornography, they feel they have truly become “monsters”. One man wrote “I feel like a monster by who I’ve become. I AM a monster”. Another wrote “This addiction is starting to frighten me more and more. Today I googled “12 to 15 year old lesbians”. I now feel sickened and can’t believe I searched for it. Urges that can put these sorts of fantasies in your brain are pure evil.” Another addict wrote “It’s getting worse. The other night I couldn’t sleep because I downloaded something illegal” whilst another said “I’ve escalated to child porn. If I don’t stop I will end up in suicide. I was abused as a child too… ”

One man wrote “I’m beginning to stare at teenagers. I try my hardest not to but it’s tearing me apart. God spare me from my worst. This disease is the pits.” Another addict wrote “I started using porn when I was 7 or 8 and am now 41 and it is destroying my life. It started off with your every day run of the mill porn but in the last 8-10 years it’s escalated. I find myself drawn more and more to younger girls to the point where I search out illegal child pornography images on the net. I live every day in hell, fear and self loathing. I feel like an out of control monster.”

Another addict wrote “during more difficult times in my life, I need much more hardcore porn to get the same effect and I’m finding more and more that illegal stuff is in my head. My self worth is almost non-existent. I’m 18. I also pull my hair out and ignore hunger. I watch porn daily.”

And then one day, addicts become desensitized to child pornography too and begin fantasizing about acting out with children. One man wrote “I’m beginning to get really strong urges to act out. Unless I get control of it soon I’ll end up in prison.” Another addict wrote “I role play in chat rooms where I talk about hitting young girls while they’re being raped. Every time I finish I’m always ashamed but then I dismiss it because it’s the Internet and there’s much worse stuff out there but I still feel weird. Daily I watch incest porn and violent sex porn like rape. I’m also attracted to 12-13 years olds now too. Not a soul knows about my dark secrets and all my friends think I’m completely normal.”

Professor Gail Dines, Professor of Sociology at Wheelock College in Boston, who has studied both pornography addicts and the pornography industry for decades and is author of the book “Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality”, interviewed a number of men in prison who had committed rape on children and found that all the men were habitual users of child pornography. Dr Dines said in an interview with Julie Bindel of The Guardian (2nd July 2010) “What they said to me was they got bored with “regular” porn and wanted something fresh. They were horrified at the idea of sex with a pre-pubescent child initially but within 6 months they had all raped a child”.

Whether addicts escalate to child pornography, rape of children, rape of sisters, mothers or whomever, one thing is clear… pornography addiction always progresses to acting out behavior in one form or another.

A Scarlet Letter Of A Sex Worker

The sex industry is an often misunderstood profession that in all actuality can be a lucrative, convenient and viable career option for those brave enough (or fool-hardy depending on your point of view) to pursue this line of work.

We have all heard of the time-worn cliché that prostitution is oldest trade, however, by and large the stigma and judgement still persists for all those who work within it.

The sale of sex remains the ‘scarlet letter’ for any person willing to forgo their relative anonymity for a form of notoriety that will long outlive their actual participation in the work, where wider society has found itself unable to make a connection with sex work and any semblance of innate self- respect or dignity of that individual.

Yet perhaps this should not be viewed as wrong or immoral per se as long as they are not left degraded and are operating safely. Providing this decision remains theirs alone, and is not the manifestation of force or of any modicum of coercion involved, or worse still being enslaved into the profession, then they have a fundamental right, as any of us, to exercise their own free-will in their endeavours.

Bishakha Oatta, a writer and filmmaker in India, has these views on the subject, “When women say the harm in sex work comes not from the act of selling sex, but from the stigma and violence surrounding it because of its illegal nature, we must hear them”.

One of the most important considerations perhaps, ultimately lies in the choice, and as long as this remains and informed one, it would be reasonable to at least allow others to find their own paths and not be shamed out of it by the notion it may be at odds with societies’ values.

Indeed, many enjoy the lifestyle and undoubted monetary rewards accrued from sex work, albeit for a very limited period, as this tends to be a short-lived career, particularly in the adult porn industry, who can expect a career of several years duration at most if they are successful in the business.

The suitability of the surrounding area must also be considered. There would be few residents entirely at ease with the knowledge that an establishment selling sex was in such close quarters as to offend their sensibilities, with maybe young families living in the vicinity, or any other possible ramifications.

In what could amount to a cross they may have to bear for an indefinite period, and tainted with the label of a sex worker, with family members or even strangers being alerted to their past, casting aspersions and harboring preconceptions about their character… it’s not a decision to be taken lightly!

Can Watching Porn Affect Your Sex Life?

Is watching porn okay? If a guy likes to watch porn should his sex partner be concerned? Is it healthy or normal for a guy to watch porn frequently when he has a girl friend and a great sex life?

These are very common questions and concerns in men-women relationships. Let us first clear away some confusion about porn and its effects on building a healthy sexual relationship. A study by a group of scientists at the University of Montreal found that men watched porn that matched their own image of sexuality, and quickly discarded material they found offensive or distasteful. Porn did not have a negative effect on men’s sexuality. Porn hasn’t changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible. Thus there is nothing abnormal or unhealthy with watching porn as long as we do not get too obsessive to the point that we choose porn over sex with our partner.

If this happens you should consider your feelings about porn. What makes you so obsessive about porn that your partner feels left out? Is it something about your partner that you are not happy with? Is it due to boredom or an escape from a relationship that is steadily losing some “sparks”?

In this case, you need to sit down to talk with your partner about the issues and concerns in the relationship. The talk must be in such a way that it does not lead to the pinning of blame or assigning the causes of the problems in relationship on her. The goal here is to work together with her to solve the problem. Putting the blame on her will only cause her to get defensive and leading to argument. If you find yourself unable to work this out alone, it could be helpful to talk to a counselor or sex therapist.

However in situation when you have a normal sex relationship and both of you has different views on porn and she is not satisfied with the role of porn in your relationship, there is also a need for both of you to sit down and talk. You need to ask yourself what you like about porn. Is it due to fantasy? Are there things you see from porn that you want both to try together? At the same time, she can also sort out her thoughts about porn. Is it something that interests her at all? If so, she can pick those adult movies that meet her individual taste which can later progress to the stage that both of you can together choose the type of porn to watch together. If she does not like the idea of having porn a part of the sexual relationship, she needs to explain the reasons and a compromise is needed in order to break this deadlock. If both of you can honestly share with each other feelings about porn and porn watching, the concern about the effects of porn on relationship can go away.

The Reasons You Should Date Online Through Online Dating Sites

If getting a date is easy for many people, there is no reason why it should be difficult for others. The reason getting a date is difficult for some is just because they don’t know how to go about it. People also date for different reasons and the reasons are best known to the parties involved. Dating is almost inevitable and this shows that dating is part of life because we all enjoy sharing time with our soul mates. If we all enjoy sharing time with our soul mates, it means the importance of sharing of time with someone we love is understood and the online dating sites have been playing a very vital role in this process. Many have not yet put online dating into consideration because they either believe they have no reasons to register with an online dating site or they don’t believe in the effectiveness of these sites. In this article, you will discover the reasons why you should register with an online dating site and date online.

1. Online Dating Sites Offer Wide Variety of Potential Partners.

People have different tastes and because there is wide variety of potential partners to choose from, getting your choice and a perfect match for yourself becomes easier. When you are signing up, you need to give your profile which is the platform on which searches are based. You are advised not to give wrong information about yourself in your profile. Members have competitive profiles and this gives you a better opportunity to pick the best partner for yourself. No one is imposing anyone on you, so you are not in a kind of haste that could make you choose a partner that is contrary to your choice. Online dating sites also have different people from different parts of the world and you can conveniently be successful with your search.

2. Online Dating Sites Are Time and Money Saving.

The time and effort you would have exhausted going a certain distance to look for a partner is saved. The effort that is required to make her see the reasons why she should accept your proposal and date you is also saved if you use online dating sites. Moreover, the money you would have spent to make your partner enjoy the relationship probably by taking her to places like a cinema, party, beach or out for lunch or dinner is saved. You might need to spend to make your partner happy and comfortable, buy wines, snacks, clothes and even jewelries but because you are dating online, you won’t need to do all of these to enjoy your date. It also saves you the signing up fee which means you are getting exposed to wide variety of potential dates for free.

3. You Have The Opportunity to Meet Other Like-Minded Singles.

Online dating sites offer you the opportunity to meet other like-minded singles. When you meet other singles of the same interest, it becomes easy to share ideas and the chance to advise one another on related issues becomes available. It is always very interesting to share thoughts with other singles of the same interest because you have the same thing in common. You can share your strengths and advise one another on your weaknesses. The understanding is always stronger because all of you are exposed to almost the same challenges. Everything you do, any challenge you face and whatever you experience is always better understood by other singles of the same interest.

4. You Can Communicate Effectively With Other Members.

Communication is the life wire of dating and the online dating sites are aware of this. Because the online dating sites know the importance of communication, they have made communication effective so that members can communicate easily and as quick as possible. With the use of their short message service systems, members are able to communicate with one another whenever they want. What makes communication more interesting in online dating is that you can chat with your partner and see each other through a webcam. With the help of effective communication, you can know your partner more from a far distance. When you even place his statements side by side with the way he looks, you can easily arrive at a remarkable conclusion.

5. Online Dating Sites Are Free to Join.

Online dating sites have made it easy for people to become members because you don’t have to pay to sign up. The registration fee can hinder many people from becoming members if they can’t afford it so it is free to everyone. Those of these online dating sites that require you pay to register have even made it affordable so that you don’t pay through your nose. When you are registering, it is not compulsory you give all your details but you are advised to be truthful with the information you are ready to give about yourself.

6. Online Dating Sites Give Rooms for Easy Termination of Relationships.

It is easier to terminate a relationship you established through the online dating sites because you are not seeing your partner physically. Someone that dates his/her partner physically gets tied in the relationship longer than desired. This is because he/she is highly compassionate and won’t be able to meet his/her partner eyeball to eyeball and say he/she is no longer interested in the relationship. This is because he/she won’t be able to bear the physical emotional reactions of his/her partner.

Dating online truly saves you money but does not in any way rule out the importance and influence of giving. Giving goes a long way to get the attention of your partner. It is easier in a case where you don’t have to spend a dime to get any gift of your choice for your partner. How do I mean? There are lots of incredibly awesome free products being given out by companies which you can always get at the blog below. If you were not aware, this is your chance to get your own completely free. You could also get a love test at my blog to check if you and your partner are for each other. Visit and get as many free products as you want right away.

6 Online Dating Tips for Guys That Actually Work

1. Choose the Right Site, Even if You Have to Pay For It

Never choose a dating site because that’s the one everyone else uses. The most popular sites have the most competition, not a good idea if you want to meet someone quickly. There are dozens of dating sites online. There are religious based sites, fetish based sites, sites based on sexual preference, online dating for seniors, there are race-based sites and many more.

Even if you have to pay a monthly fee, consider that fee an investment into your future. If you are lonely now, wouldn’t you pay $20 or less a month if you were told you could meet the woman of your dreams? Of course you would. You probably spend that on leisurely activities right now that don’t bring you near as much pleasure as a dream matchup would bring you.

There are free sites, low paid sites and expensive ones. Don’t just discount a site because it charges and never discount a free site because you think it’s too cheap and saturated. Choose a site based on your preference, your budget and the number of available matches there are in the dating pool. And don’t be afraid to try several at once. The more sites you put profiles on, the more likely you are to find a match.

2. Search Like You’re a Woman To Beat Your Competition

The hardest part about online dating for men is the filling out of the profile. Most men have absolutely no idea how to present themselves in order to maximize their dating chances. To make matters worse, most online dating help for men fails to touch the process of filling out the profile. Most articles and videos online tell men to be honest and let the woman know what you want. If you want to create a profile that gets results, you must study the competition. Who are you up against? This is going to require you to search the online dating site you’re on as if you were a woman.

It is going to feel strange looking through a bunch of guys’ online dating photos, but this is a necessary step if you want the greatest edge.

If you can take what’s working and make it better, you will succeed at online dating faster than any of the other guys in your dating pool. This is one of those free online dating tips that you rarely read online and yet it’s so effective at putting you on top of whatever dating site you choose.

Pay attention to the photos men are using, the language they’re using, their headlines and anything else that stands out. Take plenty of notes and then write your profile. When you have a page full of profile tidbits, headline ideas and other crucial elements, you won’t find yourself staring at a blinking cursor when you’re asked to fill out your About Me, Ideal Date and any other sections you are required to fill out.

In other words, cheat. Online dating for men doesn’t have to be so difficult if you know the easy ways to do things.

3. Be Honest With Your Date and Yourself

One of the biggest complaints most women have about online dating is the fact that men tend to lie. One recent dater recounted a story where she met a man in real life and she said that his age, height and weight were all different than he implied them to be via their online communications.

She said that he was two inches shorter, twenty years older and at least twenty pounds heavier. His response to being caught in a blatant lie, or three of them for that matter? He shrugged, smiled and said, “Everyone lies on the Internet.”

That is not the way to begin any type of relationship. Out of all the online dating tips for guys you will hear in your lifetime, heed this one first and foremost. Be honest about who you are and what your motivations are. Don’t lie about your age, weight, height, job, income or anything else. You will be found out eventually, especially if the date ever progresses to an offline setting.

Creating an online dating profile can cause you to really take a look at yourself. Don’t lie to make yourself feel better or to entice more dates to contact you. It’s not worth it and it will only deter possible matches in the future.

4. Dig Deep to Find Ice-Breakers

This is another bit of online dating advice guys never hear. When a woman fills out an online dating profile, that is all the information she wants you to know about her. The problem for her is, the Internet is vast and probably holds much more information than what she’s offering. In fact, there is probably information online that she’d rather you not know. Use this free online dating tip with caution. You can find out a lot more about your date by Internet-stalking her, so to speak, but you might not be able to erase any bad press you find from your mind. That can be a problem if you end up really liking the person.

If you don’t mind digging up a little dirt on your potential date-to-be, start Googling the person’s name, headline or anything else. People tend to use the same usernames across multiple platforms, headlines and other elements. Some people even put their Facebook profile links on their page. Use any and all information you find to your advantage.

Your goal isn’t to open a file on them or stalk them (looking someone up online is only called cyber stalking), rather it is to gather info that can be used to break the ice with that person.

You are looking for common ground, something that you both can talk and have a conversation about. This should really only be used if you can’t find anything in the person’s profile. These days you might uncover DUI arrest records, mugshots, divorce records and a lot more on Google and the other engines. Be careful what you search for.

5. Be Intriguing, Even if Your Life is Boring

Even if you live in a nondescript house and you work as an accountant, you can still make your life sound exciting. Get creative with it and pretend you’re writing a mystery novel. You don’t have to get too crazy with it, but try to be mysterious, intriguing and try to keep her guessing as to what you do or what you’re into. The more fun you have with it, the more you’ll stand out from other guys on the dating site you’re on and the more success you’ll have overall.

The dating advice guys need the most is the ability to leave the woman guessing. Leave some information for the first date. Nobody says you have to spill the beans in your profile. Leave her guessing, imply more than tell and you’ll get better results.

6. Get on the Phone or Cam Quickly

In the cult film Napoleon Dynamite, the main character’s brother, Kip, meets a girl online and is telling his brother about it across a table at a restaurant. Kip says that they’ve been chatting for two hours every night and, with a nod, says, “I guess it’s getting pretty serious.”

To make a true match with someone, you have to form an emotional connection. It is possible to form an emotional connection via chat. Kip is one example. However, you will build an emotional connection faster and with more impact if you can get the woman on the phone or Skype or other cam-based chat.

Once you form an emotional connect, the rest is fun and games. The endorphins will take over and you’ll be on that love rollercoaster that most people spend most of their lives reminiscing about and chasing. Get the digits or the Skype address and take your chat to the phone or cam for a much faster connection.